40 Coffee Jokes To Start Your Day With a Laugh
Since it became a worldwide sensation in the 1800s, coffee has always been a drink that brings people together. Relationships are formed and strengthened over cups of coffee, whether it’s at home or at a coffee shop.
When you can’t have a cup of coffee in your hands, you can still make good memories by bringing along a coffee joke or two. Read on for our top 40 coffee jokes that are guaranteed to make you laugh.
What Makes Coffee Jokes So Funny?
What is it about coffee that inspires so much humor? Maybe it's because coffee is a daily staple that fuels productivity and personality for so many people. Or perhaps it’s just that every coffee drinker can relate to the ups and downs of caffeine consumption. Regardless, coffee jokes have become a solid part of our culture.
From clever puns to classic one-liners, these jokes remind us that even something as routine as a cup of coffee can spark joy. In fact, humor and coffee have something in common: Both can boost your mood and bring people together. Sharing a laugh over coffee creates connections, even if it’s just with your barista at the corner café.
40 Coffee Jokes To Make You Laugh
Without further ado, here’s our list of the top coffee jokes you can pull out to lighten the mood.
1. Why Did the Coffee File a Police Report?
It got mugged.
2. How Do Coffee Beans Say Goodbye?
They say, "See you latte!"
3. Why Do Coffee Lovers Always Have a Strong Relationship?
Because they have a latte in common.
4. What Did the Coffee Say to Its Date?
“You mocha me crazy!”
5. What Do You Call Sad Coffee?
Depresso.
6. Why Don’t Coffee Beans Ever Get Into Trouble?
Because they’re always grounded.
7. What’s a Coffee’s Favorite Karaoke Song?
"Hit Me with Your Best Shot."
8. What Do You Call a Cow That Just Had a Baby?
De-calf-inated.
9. What’s a Barista’s Favorite Exercise?
The French press.
10. Why Did the Hipster Burn His Tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
11. How Does Moses Make Coffee?
He-brews it.
12. What Did One Coffee Say to the Other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re brew-tiful.”
13. What Happens if You Spill Coffee on Your Keyboard?
You Java problem.
14. Why Did the Barista Keep a Ladder in the Café?
Because the coffee was on another level!
15. Why Don’t Coffee Makers Ever Get Tired?
They’re always on the grind.
16. Why Do Coffee Beans Love Talking Politics?
They always have strong opinions.
17. Why Did the Coffee Taste Like Dirt?
It was ground just a few minutes ago.
18. What Did the Espresso Say to the Cappuccino?
You’re frothing amazing!
19. Why Do Coffee Beans Never Get Married?
Because they make a strong single.
20. What’s the Best Way To Describe a Strong Cup of Coffee?
It’s brew-tally honest.
21. Why Don’t Vampires Drink Coffee?
It keeps them up all day.
22. What Do You Get When You Cross Coffee With a Cat?
A purr-fect brew.
23. Why Did the Cold Brew Go to Summer Camp?
It needed to chill out.
24. Why Did the Coffee Cup Always Get Invited to Parties?
It was a mug-nificent guest.
25. What Did the Customer Say After Drinking a Terrible Cup of Coffee?
"I’ve bean betrayed!"
26. What Kind of Coffee Do Vampires Drink?
De-coffin-ated.
27. What’s a Coffee Shop’s Favorite Instrument?
The brew-kulele.
28. Why Did the Coffee Shop Close Early?
Because it ran out of steam.
29. What Do You Call a Coffee Maker That Sings?
A Brew-yoncé.
30. Why Do Coffee Shops Never Tell Secrets?
They spill the beans too easily.
31. What’s a Coffee’s Favorite Weather?
Mug-gy.
32. Why Was the Coffee Shop Known for Its Fashion?
Because it always had the drip!
33. What Did the Cup Say to the Coffee?
"You fill me up."
34. What Do You Call a Mischievous Coffee?
A trouble brew-er.
35. What’s a Coffee’s Favorite Classical Music Piece?
Bean-thoven’s Ninth.
36. What’s a Coffee’s Favorite Time of Day?
Brew-thirty.
37. Why Do Coffee Beans Make Terrible Spies?
They always crack under pressure.
38. What’s a Coffee Bean’s Dream Vacation?
A trip to Brew-zil.
39. What’s a Cat’s Favorite Coffee?
A purr-over.
40. What’s a Coffee’s Favorite Card Game?
Brew-no.
Types of Jokes
Let’s get technical. What are the different types of jokes, and what makes them each so funny? Here’s what you need to know to pick the best joke for the occasion.
Puns
Puns are a coffee joke staple. They’re simple, smart, and often unexpected — just like a well-made latte. Coffee puns work well because they tap into the everyday rituals and terms coffee lovers know so well. Next time you're trying to spark a conversation, try brewing up a coffee-themed pun.
One-Liners
Short and snappy, one-liners are like a shot of espresso — quick, strong, and effective. They get straight to the point. Jokes like, “Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged,” show how just a few words can inspire a laugh.
Word Play
Coffee dad jokes are delightfully cringe-worthy in the best way. You know the kind: the jokes that make you roll your eyes but secretly laugh inside. For instance, “Why are coffee beans such troublemakers? They’re always brewing up trouble.”
These wholesome, groan-inducing jokes make coffee time a little more fun — especially when shared with fellow caffeine-loving family members. Plus, they're a reminder that humor doesn’t have to be complex to be effective.
The Bottom Line
When it comes to coffee jokes, the options are literally endless. While these 40 jokes are a great place to start, you’ll be brewing up your own jokes in no time once you get the hang of it.
And, if you’re looking for a delicious cuppa to pair with the joke and impress your pals, look no further than our Mushroom Coffee+. Learn more about everything coffee when you visit the Everyday Dose blog.
Sources:
The Caffeinated History of Coffee | Stories | PBS Food
What doctors wish patients knew about the impact of caffeine | American Medical Association
Punchlines Unpacked: 10 Most Common Types of Jokes | Backstage
